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The Damned Woman


I’m not here to win the game of being

Loved and

Approved of

I’m not that kind of girl


I’ve been kicked out of the garden

Too many times

A seasoned crone outcast


Witch Bitch Whore


For the way I swing my hips

For the truth that’s on my tongue

For the way I just can’t seem to keep

My mouth shut

For the way my legs open

For the river that’s inside


I’ve been damned so many times

That this pyre keeps my hands warm

This nuice is now a ladder I descend

Into the deep


I know how to make friends with

The fire in my soul

The passion in my belly

I know how to listen to the wind


I know the way you look at me

When I’ve lost your approval

And there is nothing to hold onto

But the song in my heart

And I’ve polished the shine

With every lone note I sing


Just like Lilith knew how to hold

The trembling ruby of innocence

Underneath the jagged edges of

Projection


I have given up on you loving me

Yet I won’t end my grieving

Not yet

Not for another few thousand life times

Not until a few more rounds of

Mistaken identity

Where you hold the dagger to my neck

And I look you in the eyes and wonder

How many more incarnations we will

Do this


I keep coming back stronger

And scaring you further


And I do not yet know

When you will finally

Be ready for me


You tossed me to the wolves

So I learned to ride them

When you cast me out

The Goddess was my shelter

Now I have ears to hear her

And tongue to speak her

She knows I am the one

Who is Listening


And I won’t pretend my heart doesn’t shake

When you spit on me

And I hope it always will

I hope I never stop feeling the fragility

Of being touched by life

Of love yearning to be seen


I’m not afraid to admit

That I won’t stop my wanting

For the warmth of arms

To hold me

But in the end

I can never deny

That I am one of those women

Who burns on the inside

Who is too hot

To hold


And I cannot help this fact

That I belong to a lineage

Of women

Who were willing to risk it all

Because they simply were not capable

Of selling out

For love

Of repressing the wild truth

Of watering down the fire of revelation

That erupts through the body of

A certain kind of woman


The kind that opens you up

From the inside

The kind you don’t know what

To do with


It is a paradox perhaps

Though my heart is a heart

That yearns for your shelter


The truth is

I am a woman

Made to burn

And be burned


-Maya Luna

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