I’m not here to win the game of being
Loved and
Approved of
I’m not that kind of girl
I’ve been kicked out of the garden
Too many times
A seasoned crone outcast
Witch Bitch Whore
For the way I swing my hips
For the truth that’s on my tongue
For the way I just can’t seem to keep
My mouth shut
For the way my legs open
For the river that’s inside
I’ve been damned so many times
That this pyre keeps my hands warm
This nuice is now a ladder I descend
Into the deep
I know how to make friends with
The fire in my soul
The passion in my belly
I know how to listen to the wind
I know the way you look at me
When I’ve lost your approval
And there is nothing to hold onto
But the song in my heart
And I’ve polished the shine
With every lone note I sing
Just like Lilith knew how to hold
The trembling ruby of innocence
Underneath the jagged edges of
Projection
I have given up on you loving me
Yet I won’t end my grieving
Not yet
Not for another few thousand life times
Not until a few more rounds of
Mistaken identity
Where you hold the dagger to my neck
And I look you in the eyes and wonder
How many more incarnations we will
Do this
I keep coming back stronger
And scaring you further
And I do not yet know
When you will finally
Be ready for me
You tossed me to the wolves
So I learned to ride them
When you cast me out
The Goddess was my shelter
Now I have ears to hear her
And tongue to speak her
She knows I am the one
Who is Listening
And I won’t pretend my heart doesn’t shake
When you spit on me
And I hope it always will
I hope I never stop feeling the fragility
Of being touched by life
Of love yearning to be seen
I’m not afraid to admit
That I won’t stop my wanting
For the warmth of arms
To hold me
But in the end
I can never deny
That I am one of those women
Who burns on the inside
Who is too hot
To hold
And I cannot help this fact
That I belong to a lineage
Of women
Who were willing to risk it all
Because they simply were not capable
Of selling out
For love
Of repressing the wild truth
Of watering down the fire of revelation
That erupts through the body of
A certain kind of woman
The kind that opens you up
From the inside
The kind you don’t know what
To do with
It is a paradox perhaps
Though my heart is a heart
That yearns for your shelter
The truth is
I am a woman
Made to burn
And be burned
-Maya Luna